The Big X-OH!
Thursday, February 25th 2010 @ 2:42 PM
The Big X-OH! with Michael Malgeri
A few days ago we celebrated a big birthday milestone for my wife. Now, I'm not going to spend any time in the doghouse by divulging her age. I'm just going to say that after 20 years of marriage, I'm thrilled we've been together for 40% of her life.
Speaking of divulging secrets, let me clue you in on a few essentials of Mrs. "On Dad's Watch"
- Despite my frequent self anointing claim to athleticism, when we walk she's the swift, confident gazelle and I'm the hamster frantically trying to keep up
- A library ranks a distant second to her breadth of genuine interests
- Among the great Moms of the world, she holds the top spot...personal bias respectfully acknowledged to all the other great Mom's of the world.
- From a husband's perspective, a few sub-bullets are in order.
- If life is a journey, she's the navigation system when the road is dark and lonely
- If life were a restaurant, she'd be the finest dessert
- When you've heard the greatest joke in your life, she's the first one you want to tell it to
- When you have a thousand wonderful things you love about your best pal, selfishness only permits sharing three
Happy Birthday LisaBelle!
Editor’s Note: Michael Malgeri writes a weekly story called “On Dad’s Watch, Family Life from a Dad’s Perspective.” You can visit his site at http://www.ondw.com . You can also check out his “Johnny Profit Bedtime Stories on Capitalism and Freedom” series at http://www.kids4biz.com
Charades
Friday, February 12th 2010 @ 12:03 AM
Charades by Michael Malgeri
Earlier this week I found myself in the challenging position of having to supervise the entertainment portion of our kids' play date. The gender mix slanted decisively in the female direction, with my son and me being outnumbered by five bright young ladies, ages six through 10. Thankfully, the game of choice was "Charades" and as the game show host, I was handing out the assignments.
While they knew the general idea, the details escaped all of them, so I spent a few moments explaining the hand signals that convey clues like "movie," "TV," "syllable count," "sounds like," etc. After a few laborious sessions coaching the charaders through their respective start up protocols, we were on our way towards having fun. By the way, my daughter had no qualms about using my forehead as a clue for "A Wrinkle in Time."
As a bonafide "ham," my son enthusiastically awaited his chance to perform, no doubt hoping I'd assign him something potty humor related. In his quest for a laugh, he felt the word "f*rt" worked just as well among 9 year old girls as it did among boys. From my experience as a Dad, and a former 11 year old, I could hardly blame him. But, since I was the M.C. I slipped him a "clean" piece of paper. He read it, thought for a moment, smiled and took his place in the center of the acting area.
As silence engulfed the room, and his befuddled body, I got him started by asking, "Is it a movie or TV show?"
He responded quickly by cranking his fist on the side of his head, with the girls responding, "MOVIE!" in unison.
Once again silence and a befuddled stare.
"How many words pal?" I asked. His index finger shot up and was greeted by "ONE WORD!" from the synchronized sisters of charades.
Without waiting for another bout of catatonia, I preemptively asked, "How many syllables?" Bingo, out popped the index finger and "ONE SYLLABLE!" resonated throughout the house, or should I say neighborhood, at a decibel level more appropriate for a home robbery than a game of charades.
He needed no further prompting as he prepared to "method act" his assigned movie title by wiping his palms on his pants. No sooner did his next muscle twitch when one of the precocious young ladies yelled out, "CARS!"
There were a few moments of silence until I said, "Buddy when someone gets it right you have to touch your nose."
He touched his nose and sunk on the couch. I patted him on his head and said, "You did good."
Editor’s Note: Michael Malgeri writes a weekly story called “On Dad’s Watch, Family Life from a Dad’s Perspective.” You can visit his site at http://www.ondw.com. You can also check out his “Johnny Profit Bedtime Stories on Capitalism and Freedom” series at http://www.kids4biz.com
Monday, Monday
Thursday, February 4th 2010 @ 12:58 AM
On Dad's Watch By Michael Malgeri
"Dad, I hate Mondays." I was shaving and our son had just strolled in the bathroom with a glum look on his face.
I was about to say, "Well I've got bad news for you buddy...IT'S MONDAY!" but I knew sarcasm was not the right approach. Also, as a lifelong "Monday hater," I was sympathetic and ready with an arsenal of "Daddy tips."
"You know what pal, I feel the same way. I never liked Mondays, but you know what I do?"
"What?" he asked somewhat skeptically.
"On Monday mornings I just look in the mirror and say, 'Man, I just can't wait to get to work! I love Monday's! This is going to be a great day!'" Then I threw my arms in the air and danced around belting out the theme from Rocky. "BA DA DAAAAAA!....BA DA Daaaaa." He watched curiously.
"You see buddy, it's all in your mind. If you have the right attitude, you'll feel a whole lot better and before you know it Monday will be over...get it!" I wasn't sure if I'd won him over but at least he was watching me.
"Dad," he said as if finding it hard to tell me something.
"What's the matter, pal?"
"That stuff is OK Dad but...I don't like Tuesdays that much neither."
Editor’s Note: Michael Malgeri writes a weekly story called “On Dad’s Watch, Family Life from a Dad’s Perspective.” You can visit his site at http://www.ondw.com and purchase his “Johnny Profit” books at http://www.kids4biz.com
