Robo-Drugs
Friday, March 26th 2010 @ 4:20 PM
Robo-Drugs by Michael Malgeri
A few mornings ago I was pumping gas when my cell phone rang. Seeing how it was 5am and my family was still asleep, I wondered who had the audacity to think I was awake and interrupt my miles per gallon calculation...do you guys do that when you fill up?
So I answered the call and to my surprise it was lovely, but recorded, female voice asking if I was the father of my son. What's more, the voice was programmed to wait until I answered "yes" or "no."
"What could he possibly have done to get a robot to call me!?
" I thought. I answered, "Yes." Although "affirmative" might have been the appropriate cyber response.
"Don't be alarmed," continued the fembot.
"I'm not alarmed. I make it a habit to spill gas on my pants when disaster is about to befall."
"We just wanted to inform you that your son's prescription has been filled and you should receive a package today. Good bye."
He had a cough and I'd just ordered anti-botics for him.
"Well that's cool!" I thought. "They didn't even try to sell me anything. Now that's a great company. I'm going to stick with them."
So there's a lesson for my readers who own multi-billion dollar corporations...and you know who you are. Give value to your customers and let them know when their kids are taking drugs.
Editor’s Note: Michael Malgeri writes a weekly story called “On Dad’s Watch, Family Life from a Dad’s Perspective.” You can visit his site at http://www.ondw.com. You can also check out his “Johnny Profit Bedtime Stories on Capitalism and Freedom” series at http://www.kids4biz.com
HUGS
Friday, March 12th 2010 @ 12:05 PM
Hugs by Michael Malgeri
"Dad, these older girls at school are always hugging me." Our son, who's in his first year of middle school, was telling me about something that apparently was embarrassing to him. When I told him he should always feel comfortable confiding in me my intention was to give him advice, not to live vicariously through his adventures.
When I was in 6th grade it was still true that girls matured earlier than boys, but honest to God my son looks like he's a decade before puberty and these 7th grade girls are ready to be evening news anchor women.
But from his perspective, this was a serious situation and rather than tossing him the keys to the car I said, "Buddy, it embarrasses you doesn't it?"
"Yes, I'm too shy." I know someday he and I would laugh at this episode in our lives, but at the moment I felt his pain.
"Buddy, you don't have to be shy. They like you and they're just trying to be nice." At least that was my assumption. "God," I thought, "where were these magnanimous 7th graders when I was in school!" I shook my head back to the present and continued. "When that happens again, just smile, give them back a hug and say, 'Hi! Good to see you guys again!' That's all you have to do."
"I guess so," he said, and went to his room. I'm not sure if he'll take my advice but as he climbed the stairs I yelled, "don't forget, you can always come talk to Dad"...and thought, "next time consider getting their phone #s!"
Editor’s Note: Michael Malgeri writes a weekly story called “On Dad’s Watch, Family Life from a Dad’s Perspective.” You can visit his site at http://www.ondw.com . You can also check out his “Johnny Profit Bedtime Stories on Capitalism and Freedom” series at http://www.kids4biz.com
